By Emilee Henriquez, LCMHC, Therapist and Advocate for Emotional Healing
As a therapist, I’ve seen time and time again how vulnerability can be the key to profound healing. Yet, I also know how terrifying it can feel to let your guard down, especially when you’ve been hurt before. Vulnerability is often viewed as weakness, but what if it’s actually the bravest thing you can do? What if letting yourself be seen in your most authentic state is the gateway to healing your deepest wounds?
Why We Guard Ourselves
For many of us, building emotional walls feels like protection. We guard ourselves because we’ve been hurt in the past. Whether it’s through betrayal, rejection, or disappointment, we’ve learned that vulnerability can lead to pain. So, we armor up, hide our feelings, and keep our truest selves at a safe distance from others.
But in doing so, we cut ourselves off from the very thing we need most—connection. True healing, both from trauma and emotional pain, requires us to connect with others. And connection can only happen when we’re willing to be vulnerable.
The Healing Power of Vulnerability
Vulnerability is not about oversharing or exposing every part of yourself to the world. It’s about allowing the people who matter, including yourself, to see you fully. It’s about letting yourself feel deeply and express those feelings, even when it’s uncomfortable.
What happens when you let your guard down:
Emotional Release: Holding in your emotions creates internal tension. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you release those feelings and free yourself from emotional heaviness.
Deeper Connections: Vulnerability fosters trust and intimacy. When you share your true self with others, you create the opportunity for deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Self-Acceptance: Being vulnerable is an act of self-acceptance. It’s a way of saying, “I am enough as I am, and I don’t need to hide.”
How Vulnerability Heals
Healing from trauma and emotional wounds is not just about working through the past but about learning to be present in your life now. Vulnerability allows you to be fully present because you’re no longer hiding from your feelings or from others. It’s through vulnerability that you begin to heal the parts of yourself that feel unworthy, ashamed, or disconnected.
Ways vulnerability supports healing:
Opens the Door to Compassion: When you’re vulnerable, you give yourself the chance to receive compassion—from others and from yourself. Compassion is essential for healing.
Releases Shame: Shame thrives in secrecy. The moment you speak your truth, shame begins to lose its power over you.
Breaks the Cycle of Isolation: Vulnerability breaks the cycle of isolation that often accompanies pain. You no longer have to carry your burdens alone.
How to Start Being More Vulnerable
If vulnerability feels too risky, start small. Begin with yourself. Journaling is a great way to practice vulnerability in a safe space. Write about your feelings, your fears, and your dreams. Slowly, you can start sharing parts of yourself with trusted friends, family, or even a therapist.
Steps to practice vulnerability:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize when you’re holding back emotions. Ask yourself what you’re feeling and why you’re hesitant to express it.
Choose Safe Spaces: Vulnerability doesn’t mean sharing with everyone. Start with people you trust, where you know your emotions will be respected.
Be Honest with Yourself: Vulnerability starts with self-honesty. Are you avoiding your feelings? Are you pretending to be okay when you’re not? Check in with yourself regularly.
Celebrate Small Wins: Vulnerability is courageous. Celebrate every moment when you allow yourself to be seen, even if it’s just admitting, “I’m not okay today.”
My Message to You
I’m a therapist, and I’ve learned that vulnerability is one of the most powerful tools in the healing process. If you’ve been guarding yourself, ask yourself: What would happen if I let my guard down? What if I allowed myself to feel deeply, to express my emotions, and to let others see me for who I truly am? Healing is not about perfection; it’s about authenticity. Let vulnerability be your guide.
Comments