By Emilee Henriquez, LCMHC, Therapist and Advocate for Self-Nurturing
As a therapist, I've seen firsthand how many of us have learned to neglect and abandon ourselves in order to survive. This self-neglect often stems from past traumas, societal expectations, or the demands of daily life. But what if I told you that the key to healing is honoring your needs, meeting yourself where you are at, and nurturing yourself? Today, let's explore the transformative power of self-honoring and self-care.
The Habit of Self-Neglect
Self-neglect is a survival mechanism many of us adopt to cope with difficult circumstances. We push our needs aside, ignore our feelings, and prioritize others' expectations over our own well-being. This pattern of self-abandonment can leave us feeling depleted, unworthy, and disconnected from ourselves.
Common signs of self-neglect include:
Ignoring your physical health, such as skipping meals or neglecting exercise.
Suppressing your emotions or not allowing yourself to feel.
Prioritizing others' needs and desires at the expense of your own.
Feeling guilty or unworthy when you try to take care of yourself.
The Impact of Self-Neglect on Healing
When you neglect yourself, you send a message to your subconscious that you are not worthy of care and attention. This can hinder your healing process and perpetuate feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacy. Healing requires acknowledging and addressing your own needs, which can only happen when you stop neglecting yourself.
Honoring Your Needs
Honoring your needs is about recognizing and respecting what you require to feel safe, healthy, and fulfilled. It's about giving yourself permission to prioritize your well-being without shame.
Steps to honor your needs:
Identify Your Needs: Take time to reflect on what you truly need in various areas of your life—emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. Write them down if it helps.
Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries that protect your well-being. This might mean saying no to commitments that overwhelm you or setting limits on how much time you spend on certain activities.
Communicate Your Needs: Share your needs with those around you. This can be challenging, but it's essential for building supportive relationships.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a loved one. Be gentle with yourself as you learn to prioritize your needs.
Meeting Yourself Where You Are At
Healing is not a linear process, and it's essential to meet yourself where you are at rather than where you think you should be. This involves accepting your current state without judgment and working with what you have in the present moment.
How to meet yourself where you are:
Accept Your Current State: Acknowledge your feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations without trying to change them immediately. Acceptance is the first step to transformation.
Be Realistic with Expectations: Set achievable goals based on your current capabilities. Avoid comparing your journey to others' or pressuring yourself to meet unrealistic standards.
Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step forward is a victory worth acknowledging.
Nurturing Yourself
Nurturing yourself is about actively engaging in practices that support your well-being. It's about creating a lifestyle that fosters growth, healing, and happiness.
Ways to nurture yourself:
Engage in Self-Care: Regularly participate in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's reading a book, taking a bath, or spending time in nature.
Prioritize Rest and Recovery: Ensure you get enough sleep and take breaks when needed. Rest is crucial for physical and emotional healing.
Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or professionals for support and guidance. You don't have to navigate your healing journey alone.
Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling to stay connected to the present moment and your inner self.
My Message to You
If you’ve been neglecting yourself, it’s time to make a change. Healing begins with self-honoring and self-care. By honoring your needs, meeting yourself where you are, and nurturing yourself, you can create a foundation for true, lasting healing.
Remember: You are worthy of care, attention, and love. The journey to healing is not about perfection; it's about progress and self-compassion. Stop neglecting yourself, and start honoring the incredible person that you are
In conclusion, I want to leave you with this: I’m a therapist, and what if you stopped neglecting yourself? We often learn to abandon ourselves in order to survive, but what if the key to healing was honoring your needs, meeting yourself where you are at, and nurturing yourself?
Embrace this journey with an open heart and a gentle spirit, knowing that you are deserving of all the love and care you give to others. Your path to healing starts with the simple yet profound act of honoring yourself.
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